The other day I had to go to court. The why is a long story. The abbreviated version is that I had to go fight the government for what my kids need. I’m sure they’ve dealt with many moms over the years, but they hadn’t tangled with this mama bear.
I wasn’t really nervous about the outcome, as I had prayed about it and was really turning it over to God. I was nervous about presenting in court. I don’t really have a problem speaking up and talking to people, but the formality of the courtroom can get anyone anxious. I was facing the judge, with two agency workers to my left, and me, alone at my own little table with my pile of “evidence" (which was a much smaller pile than the opposing sides’ pile).
The hearing lasted 90 minutes, which was much longer than I was expecting. And I really felt like the Lord was with me. The judge even said he was surprised I had no legal background, as I had done a good job presenting my case.
When I left, I really felt like I had done what I came there to do. And I found myself grateful for the strengths God has given me (communication, ability to use context, belief in what I’m doing). I’ve often felt like maybe my strengths were “boring." I sheepishly must admit, this was the first time I felt like they were useful and was grateful for them.
And then it happened. The Lord spoke to me. He said, “Yes, this is why I made you this way. So that you could be an advocate for others."
It was like a lightbulb moment. You know, the “aha" moment? It was clear as could be. I don’t know what form it will take or what it means my next steps are, but it felt really good to hear a purpose so clearly. And to start to piece together the many ways the Lord has uniquely wired me to be just that.